It was supposed to be my first half marathon ever. It was supposed to be one of those “look what I did before turning 30!” type things. But you learn something really quickly when it comes to physical fitness and especially with half marathons: you can’t accomplish what you don’t train for.
Yesterday, the family and I went to the Expo for this weekend’s California Classic. Among the multiple zig zagging lines, I waited in what seemed like the slowest line ever so that I could switch from running the half to the 5k. I quietly tried to not beat myself up about it while wrestling with my 3-year-old son clamoring over my back and trying to pull out my pony tail holder. I switched from a clean, unblemished white bib to am ugly yellow “please don’t look at me like I’m a loser” 5k bib, which I quickly hid in my goodie bag between several sheets of paper.
Could I be having second thoughts? I had to quickly remind myself why I was doing this again. I’ve run several 5k races in the past (my first one while I was pregnant) and I absolutely love doing it. I could even try for a PR this Sunday. That means so much more to me than just saying that I finished a half marathon.
It’s hard not to compare myself, not only as a woman to other women, but even more so to other athletes. But at the end of the day I have to remember that my biggest competitor is just me.